Meltdown
by XeanChan
Summary: You'd think Neku would be happier, now that the Reaper's Game was finished, and his friends were returned to the RG. Too bad a certain giggling blond keeps haunting his thoughts. - Minor spoilers -


Hey guys. I know it's been FOREVER since I've posted anything. Sorry :P  
>I found the outline to this story, that I'd written a year ago on my computer. Basicly, I beefed it up, and created the story you see now. Hope you Enjoy!<p>

Warning : There is a bit of Boy-luv'n going on here. But seeing as this is a Neku/Joshua story, I'd assume you already knew this. There's also a bit of swearing, but the game swears too.

* * *

><p>~The town is filled with brilliant light<br>The chill of anesthesic ether  
>2 AM, and I can't sleep<br>Everything is changing so fast~

I sighed, pushing the blankets off of myself, as I sat up in bed. I proped my arm on the sill of my bedside window, and looked outside.  
>I stared at Shibuya, still glowing with streetlights. Blues. Reds. Yellows. Purples. All arrays of hues, and shapes dotted the city.<br>A chill ran down my spine causing me to shiver. Glancing at the clock, I noticed the time.  
>'<em>Holy crap, it's 2am already? How am I not exhausted? It's not like I've slept at all...'<em>  
>In my hand, I held a black pin, with a white, tattoo design of a skull, on it. I subconsciously tapped it.<br>_'If I was still in the UG, I could read people's minds, by just tapping on this silly little thing.'_  
>The thought brought a slight smile to my lips.<br>_'I am really glad that everyone made it out alive.'_  
>The smile faltered slightly as I thought about it more.<br>_'Well almost everyone. But it's not like Shibuya's composer was able to leave his post._ _After all, he had a city to take care of, and a game to look after. But still. It would be nice to see Josh. Even just to make sure the kid was alright.'  
><em>I layed down on the plush mattress, pulling the covers back over me. I shut my eyes, trying to squeeze in any last minute sleep I could before the new day truly began.

* * *

><p>~The lighter's out of oil<br>The pit of my stomach is on fire  
>If everything is such a lie<br>Then it really would be better~

"Damn it."  
>The lighter wouldn't stay lit long enough for me to light a candle, because it was practicly out of fluid. It did however, stay lit long enough to burn my finger.<br>I sighed, and lit a match, letting the flame lick the tiny black wick of the vanilla scented candle.  
>The candle radiated a tiny bit of heat. It reminded me of the warmth that I felt whenever I thought about Joshua. That tingly feeling inside, and the comforting heat that made me blush when he entered my thoughts.<br>Though that warmth was nothing, compared to the fire I felt actually seeing him. Having him so close that all I have to do is reach out and touch him, to feel his actual warmth.  
>It was nice to think about him, but it was also painful. Almost everything he said to me was a lie. Our whole friendship was based on the lie that he was just another player in the game, that wanted the composer gone.<br>I guess I didn't mind so much though. It was comforting to know, that even if it had been lies that started our friendship, it still flourished.

I played around with my hands, as if they were the most facinating thing in the RG.  
>Maybe it didn't matter that he lied... because I still trusted him.<p>

* * *

><p>~I dreamed of wrapping my hands 'round your neck<br>On an early afternoon, overflowing with light  
>I dreamed, with eyes full of tears<br>of cutting off your voice~

I floped down into a soft black and white chair with a huff, resting my chin in one of my palms with the knuckles against my cheek.  
>I thought back to week two, Joshua's week as my partner.<br>The guy was pretty confident. Some might even say full of himself. His hair gray blond hair sparkled when the sun hit it right. Amethist eyes always glowed with a warm yet sly tone.  
>And the feeling I got whenever he smiled... my stomach would explode, full of butterflies trying desperately to escape.<br>A Tear trickled down my cheek, and onto my knuckle. As I tried to wipe it away, the warm, salty droplets defied my wishes, and came down in fast moving streams.  
>I daydreamed about what it would be like to be with him.<br>To loosely wrap my arms around Josh's neck. To oress my lips softly against his, cutting off any protest, and becoming immersed in the moment.  
>I stood up, furiously wiping away the tears on my shirt. There was no way it would work between us. We lived in two different worlds.<p>

* * *

><p>~I want to dive into<br>a nuclear reactor  
>Surrounded by beautiful blue light<br>If I dive into  
>the nuclear reactor<br>then I can let it all go~

No matter how hard I tried, memories of the Reaper's Game just kept coming.  
>I thought back to the way each pact felt when it was formed.<br>With Shiki, it felt strange. I hadn't known her at all, and I wasn't exactly fond of people at the time. It was odd that anyone had even been interested in my existence.  
>With Beat, it was okay, cuz we're friends and all. The pact was strong, and full of desire to save the people we had taken from us.<br>But with Joshua... When that blue light enveloped us, binding us together, it was warm and inviting. Like a rush of warm feelings enveloping me in a protective shell.  
>I would do anything to experience that feeling of security again. I'd even give up my life...<p>

* * *

><p>~On the other side of the balcony<br>The sound of someone climbing the stairs  
>The clouding sky falls into the room<br>through the window panes~

I went to close the curtain across the balcony window, but paused. My hand just griped the fabric gently.  
>I listend closely to the echo of footsteps that sounded as if they were just outside.<br>Opening the glass door, I surveyed the surrounding area. There was no one in sight.  
>The white puffy clouds had gotten thicker, since I first stepped outside. It was strange, but with what happened those weeks in the game, nothing seemed abnormal anymore. Nothing was ever a coincidence.<br>It wouldn't do me any good if I was around, trying to find what didn't want to be found, so I stepped inside, closing the door behind me.  
>The curtains were pulled across their metal bar, covering the glass door and veiling the room in darkness.<p>

* * *

><p>~In the scattering twilight<br>The sun is red, like teary eyes  
>Bit by bit, as if dissolving<br>Little by little this world is dying~

It was starting to get late.  
>By now, it was twilight. The time of day when the sky becomes as blue as my eyes, and the clouds as purple as the ones I missed so very much.<br>The sun was still there in the sky, glowing a sinister red.  
>Red like the color of the O-pins.<br>Red like the color of a deep blush.  
>Red like the color my eyes turned as I cried.<br>Josh said Shibuya was dying, right? Then why did he let it stay? Did he cure Shibuya? Did something happen that perked the city back up?  
>It seems like those weeks were a dream. I panicked, beginning to worry that my memories of those precious days may disappear. Just like Josh did.<p>

* * *

><p>~I dreamed of wrapping my hands 'round your neck<br>'Neath curtains rustled by a breeze  
>The words overflow from your<br>dried up lips, like bubbles~

I folded my Jupiter of the Monkey outfit up, and placed it on my bed.  
>Heading back to the bathroom, I turned off the tap, before gently lowering myself into the bath.<br>Sweet smelling bubbles floated in the hot water, gathering into shapes and piles.  
>The curtains gently rippled at the slight breeze coming through the window.<br>I imagined myself in Joshua's embrace. Listening to him whisper kind words into my ear. Words as gentle, and sweet, as the bubbles that inhabited my bathwater.  
>My face heated up, and I knew the water wasn't the cause.<br>Now was not the time to be thinking of him. It made me wish I knew why he wouldn't leave my thoughts.

* * *

><p>~I want to dive into<br>a nuclear reactor  
>So the memories melt away to white<br>If I dive into  
>the nuclear reactor<br>Then I'll be able to sleep as I did long ago  
>That's how I feel~<p>

I wanted to leave this life. To enter the UG once again. To be with Josh.  
>I didn't care what it took. I would even give up my memories of the RG. Apart from Beat, Rhyme, and Shiki, who I met in the game anyway, it's not like the memories are that important to me anyway.<br>All I want, is to finally be able to sleep in peace again. To fall sleep, knowing that you're not just a dream. To sleep knowing you're there with me, even if it's only for just a moment.  
>There was no way I was getting to sleep tonight... Here's to yet another restless night curtousy of Joshua Kiryu, composer of Shibuya.<p>

* * *

><p>~The second hand on the clock<br>And the officials on the TV  
>Are still there, but the laughter of someone I can't see<br>is echoing all through my head~

Having nothing better to do, I decided to take a walk down to the scramble, to clear my head.  
>There was still a large crowd, as always. Everyone was dressed to the nines in the latest fashions. A commercial for some brand that was in style at the moment, played on floor Q as the clock ticked.<br>But even with all of that noise, there was only one thing I heard.  
>It was as if time stopped. Nothing but one sound graced my mind. |"Hee hee"<br>It was his giggle. The one that annoyed me so much. The one I yearned to hear, despite my annoyance.  
>Everything started to move at normal speed again. Nobody appeared to have realized any change. Maybe it was only me that saw.<br>I looked around, but unfortunately, Joshua was nowhere in sight.  
>As I walked home, my only constant company was the echo of his laugh haunting my every step.<p>

* * *

><p>~Allegro Agitato<br>My ears won't stop ringing  
>Allegro Agitato<br>My ears won't stop ringing~

I lay down in my bed, tossing and turning. The blankets rustled around my body with every movement I made.  
>In my restlessness, I knocked my pillow off the bed.<br>Ignoring the small inconvenience, I rolled back over.  
>There were more important things to do.<br>It didn't matter what I did, I couldn't get it out of my head.  
>His laugh. His voice. His face. Everything about him. Almost like it was his sort of sick joke, imprinting thoughts of himself on me. Driving me to insanity.<br>I let out a whimper, holding my head in agony.  
>Why couldn't I get him out of my head?<p>

* * *

><p>~I dreamed that everyone was disappearing<br>The emptiness and silence of this room in the night  
>Weighs down on me<br>I can't breathe anymore~

When I finally fell asleep, I instantly regretted it.  
>I dreamed that everyone vanished before my eyes.<br>Shiki. Beat. Rhyme. Joshua...  
>I unknowingly thrashed in my bed. Grasping for someone of something that wasn't there.<br>After an especially violent turn, my eyes snapped open.  
>There was a lingering heaviness on my chest. It made it hard to breathe.<br>Was this what it felt like to lose someone you truly cared about? To feel so helpless, and alone?  
>It was frightening.<br>Curling up with my blankets securely wrapped around me, I calmed my breathing.  
>I closed my eyes once more, and fell back into a restless sleep.<p>

* * *

><p>~(shout)<br>Should I dive into  
>the nuclear reactor<br>I know I can disappear, so I can sleep  
>A morning without me<br>Will be much more wonderful than now  
>Where everything is in gear~<p>

The light peeked into my eyes. I stretched, and felt my hand brush against something. It was a letter.  
>The letter was printed in a neat slanted scrawl.<p>

_~Neku, don't be afraid to jump. I'll always be there to catch you, but you're the one who has to take the leap of faith. Always trust your partner, right Dear? I hope to see you soon.  
>-Joshua<em>

Everyone else had someone.  
>Beat had Rhyme. Shiki had Eri.<br>Sure they're my friends, but who did I have? Who did Josh have?  
>I smiled to myself. Soon, we'll be together.<br>I wouldn't have to worry about disappearing if I left a letter here. Along with Joshua's letter for further clarification.  
>Soon I would sleep again.<br>I would sleep knowing that he was real. I would sleep knowing Joshua was there with me, and that I wouldn't forget him.  
>Beat, Rhyme and Shiki most likely will be sad at first... but they'll understand why I did it.<br>I won't be holding them back anymore. A world without me, for them, will be better in the long run.  
>They'll probably forget me eventually. Or at least they'll find other things to occupy their minds.<br>They've got their lives ahead of them. I've got my afterlife.

Writing a quick goodbye, I opened the balcony window, and smiled up at the sky.  
>No more RG for me. This isn't where I truly belong. Not anymore.<br>Without another thought, I jumped.  
>And the strangest thing happened. I felt something catch me.<br>Rather than watching my surroundings fall, then turning black like I expected death to be, It went white. Then blue.  
>The familiar warmth of a pact overflowing with happiness.<br>The overwhelming feeling of Joshua.

* * *

><p>~That sort of world, definitely~<p>

"Welcome back Dear, you miss me?"  
>I scoffed, then blushed at the fact that he was still carrying me.<br>"Maybe a little. How about you?"  
>"Unbearably so." He set me down gently.<br>"So..." a glint in his eye made me freeze.  
>He snaked his arms around my waist, as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, resting my hands just below the back of his neck.<br>He pulled me impossibly closer, and pressed his lips against mine, turning what I constantly dreamed about into a reality.  
>I sighed into the kiss, causing him to smirk against my mouth. He licked my bottom lip, toying with my ability to resist. My lips parted slightly, allowing him to gain entrance.<br>There really wasn't any competition for dominance, because I was already weak in the knees, being held up, only by Joshua's hands which supported my back.  
>We pulled away, breathing slightly more heavily than usual. I blushed a bit darker than I had been before.<br>"Neku, do you need a break?" Joshua smiled.  
>It was just like old times, when he would tease me if we fought too many noise.<br>Only this wasn't old times. It was the beginning of a new, amazing chapter of our lives.

* * *

><p>I'm thinking about making a follow-up chapter, showing the gang finding Neku's note, and Neku getting to see how they all react to his death.<br>If anyone would be interested in it, please msg me so I know to get right on it.

The song that's in the "~" marks, is Meltdown. It's a Vocaloid song, originally sang by Rin Kagamine.


End file.
